Having had a fulfilled life as a single person, she felt so ready to move on to starting a family. In her mid-30s when she got pregnant, she thought she was ready and had everything in control. Oh my, was she up for a lot of surprises!
The first lesson was on having a deeper appreciation of how intricately beautiful the human body is. With her mother having passed away several years back, books on pregnancy were her main reference in the absence of a firsthand guide. She came to understand that the tenderness of her breasts was in preparation for breastfeeding in the months to come. She has never heard of linea nigra before when she discovered that she too, was marked with that dark line from her navel down to her pelvis. Her hormones were doing its best to prepare her physically while she was trying to absorb as much information as she can to prepare her mentally. She stayed up late one night watching National Geographic's In the Womb, a documentary that showed how a baby slips through the birth canal in a screw-like motion so that the head is followed by one shoulder and then the other. It was truly amazing, she thought.
It was both exciting and frightening, the thought that someone else was inside of her, one who is totally dependent on her care. Her body was a vessel and she was a part of procreation, yet she was not fully in control. Her baby was growing on his own, moving when he wants to, kicking her belly whenever he pleases. Clearly he was an independent spirit inside of her. A part of him was distinct from her. Perhaps it was the combination of the accountability and the helplessness that made for an overwhelming experience.
The second learning slowly crept in. Little by little she came to notice how much of her independence she was giving up as she assumed this new role. When she was conceiving, she became more conscious of her diet, her activities and her habits. She started thinking for two and never stopped since.
Now, a couple of years later, her world still spins around her toddler's needs. She did not expect it to be this challenging since her parents seemed to handle raising their kids with ease. As a kid, she had always thought that her parents were superheroes who were capable of anything. Whatever she needed, they provided. But in retrospect, she now sees them as adults who did the best they can. They made mistakes as well as sacrifices. They, too, gave up part of their independence for her. Becoming a mom has deepened her gratitude to her parents for all that they have done to bring her up well.
She is only a couple of years into the character yet everyday is a learning experience. She keeps in mind the Olympia Dukakis character in the 1989 hit Steele Magnolias who said "that which does not kill us, makes us stronger,"
Motherhood will certainly make her stronger.
Vik Frisky is a Toastmasters who owns http://www.motivationalidea.com. He shares motivational stories and giving speeches.
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